In An Easy and Relaxed Manner

Do you ever wonder if you are getting in your own way? You know, wonder if you’re actually making things harder than they need to be?

Could you unconsciously be pushing your own success away, by expecting things to be hard (so they are)? Or maybe by needing to be in control of every little detail every step of the way before you allow things to happen (so they never do)?

The fact is, a lot of times we do create struggle for ourselves where none need exist. We don’t know we’re doing it (how stupid would that be, if we did?) In fact, we’re probably not even aware that we could be doing it. But when things start feeling very difficult and nothing seems to be happening the way I have intended, I have learned that this is my cue to sit back, get detached, and look at the situation differently.

When working towards a goal or an intention, there are lots of possible ways to achieve it. Many roads go to Rome. Some might be arduous, and some might be easy and scenic. What I’m learning is that, if you think about things the right way, you can actually decide to choose the more pleasant way.

It’s like I’m always telling the girls who work in my barn, it’s not just important THAT we do something (get this horse tacked up), it’s important HOW we do it (by insisting that he stand quietly in the middle of the aisle, correcting him and putting him back every time he moves or shifts around). We can have the same level of clarity with ourselves, and constantly remind ourselves HOW we want to be in the world as we work towards our goals.

In learning to master staying out of my own way and allowing things to happen, I have made a mantra of the phrase:

In an easy and relaxed manner, in a healthy and positive way,
In it’s own perfect time, for the highest good of all.

Sometimes I repeat the first line, sometimes both, as I go through my day. This reminds me that HOW I want to be is as important as WHAT I am working towards.

I first learned this technique from reading Marc Allen, the millionaire publisher and owner of New World Library. He learned it from Catherine Ponder, a Unity Church minister. Allen teaches his method of setting goals or affirming your intentions in such a way that you don’t have to become a single-minded driven automaton.

Allen’s work challenges the cultural belief that we need to be working towards our goals with massive effort, facing adversity, leaping tall buildings, and taking rejection like a man, in order to be Making Things Happen! This common belief is what I call the men-in-neckties approach to life and success. While that approach may work, I don’t find it particularly fun. I also don’t think it’s all that effective when it comes to working with horses, who are masters of living in the moment.

Allen’s method is to phrase our goals by starting out with the phrase “In an easy and relaxed manner, in a healthy and positive way”, perhaps wrapping up with “In it’s own perfect time, for the highest good of all.”

For example,

In an easy and relaxed manner, in a healthy and positive way,
I intend that ________________________________________
(examples, “I am now an effective, elegant rider.” “I now have a calm, happy horse who works beautifully for me in all situations.” “My work brings joy to thousands of people.”
In it’s own perfect time, for the highest good of all.

Hey, we’ve all heard this saying: Work smarter, not harder. In fact, we’ve heard it a hundred times. But is it part of our life experience? Do we practice it? This is a good question to ask yourself: Am I working hard or working smart? Play around with this technique. It’s a good way to live!